Say cheese!

We're getting first proper smiles from both boys now, genuine ones...not wind! Now just to try and capture on camera. Felix smiled first and 2 days later Sebastian smiled at his teddy bear. Obviously it's far more engaging than mumma. Two nights ago he really got the hang of smiling and after his 6am feed laid there grinning at me. I almost didn't want to learn the light out to go back to sleep...almost! They're going through a bit of a growth spurt at the moment and feeding heaps but have managed another sleep block of midnight to 6am. It's not consistent as last night they only went 4 hours, but once in a while is still great. Totally in love with my little family :)

Oh, and I almost forgot the best news of the day...Bella did her first wee on her potty! My clever, big girl!

Oh what a night... :)

After a mammoth feed-a-thon from 10.30pm to midnight I put the boys to bed at 12.30am and they slept through until 5.45am!!! I woke with a start after feeling very refreshed and wondered what the heck was up! Thinking wow, they're starting to sleep through the night, today has made me question...6 week growth spurt? Seriously they have fed every hour and a half to 2 hours today and finally passed out about 10pm. They seem to have been awake all day as they have fed all day! As I type this I am VERY glad of a break and wondering just how long it will last. A repeat of last night would be good...please!

Where we're at!

The boys are now 6 and a half weeks old and the days have passed so quickly that I've not had a chance to update the blog so this will be a long one!

The early days

The first week passed in a whirl of feeding and adjusting to two tiny babies in an already busy house. Bella had a tough time initially accepting her new siblings and the fact that the focus of attention had shifted from her being the centre, to now being shared. There were many tears from her initially but today she is pretty well adjusted and it almost seems like we've always been a family of five and she totally adores her baby brothers. Each morning she is excited to see one brother and then the other, and lavishes them with kisses and cuddles. She knows their names and talks about them all the time. There have been many heart melting moments with the three of them and I hope she continues to see them as a positive addition to her life.

Feeding

I'm exclusively breast feeding the boys and after a bit of a rocky start in the first week with them having latching issues from being premmies, they took to it so well. It was time consuming at first with them feeding slowly and constantly and I felt all I did was feed all day and night, but now they feed so well and we're on an established 7 feeds a day schedule and I finally get "time off" between feeds.. I had my usual doubts about "would I have enough milk", "were they taking enough milk" etc, but with the help of a lovely friend Simone, who is a breast feeding peer supporter and came to stay with us for 5 days to help with the feeding, I learned to trust myself and not worry so much. I know the proof is in the wet and dirty nappies, but I also bought some baby scales to do a weekly weigh-in just to satisfy any doubts.

Supersize me!

In the hospital both boys lost the usual initial amount of birth weight, with Sebastian losing the greater amount. He dropped around 350g and Felix about 150g. By the third week the boys had gained above and beyond their birth weights and now they just keep piling on the ounces! In week 4 they both gained 11 ounces, in week 5 Sebastian gained 9 ounces and Felix gained 12 ounces, and in the last week Sebastian gained 14 ounces and Felix 12 ounces...I guess I have good milk! Today my boys are weighing in at a healthy 8lb 6oz and 8lb 12oz. It's so reassuring especially after encountering so much negativity for exclusively breast feeding them. In the hospital they wouldn't hear of me feeding them just my breast milk and wanted me to supplement with formula. However, the boys have taken to the breast so well that I wouldn't consider feeding them another way and I honestly don't have time with twins and a toddler to make up formula and wash and sterilize bottles! They're also just too cute when they feed :)

We're wide awake!

We noticed when the boys reached their official due date, 4th March, they really started to change from their sleepy premmie state and become more alert and vocal with much more wide awake time. I'm not sure if they'll reach the "milestone markers" a bit later than normal as they're only 2 and a half weeks adjusted age right now. However, Felix gave his first proper smile yesterday and no wind followed so I'm pretty sure it was a genuine one! They have day and night sorted and are having extended periods of awake time and are now feeding every 4ish hours through the night. It's great when they do the longer period between feeds as I'm finally starting to feel human again. Day time is still on a 3 hour feed schedule with bouts of cluster feeding in the late afternoon/early evening. They're starting to enjoy looking around at all the goings on and are reaching out to grab things within their reach.

Doctor doctor...

The boys have been assigned their pediatrician and have been for two health checks with her so far. She is really happy with their progress and weight gain and has been the first health care professional to support me with feeding the boys myself. Such a refreshing change. She's so happy with them that we don't have a follow up appointment until they're 8 weeks old.

It's a twin thing

The debate is on as to whether Felix and Sebastian are actually identical even though they were in 2 sacs with 2 placentas. This technically means they're non-id but apparently 25% of all non-id same sex twins turn out to be identical. It's something to do with the egg splitting on the very first day. So far the boys look way too similar for me to think they're non-id. Apart from a small difference in weight and Felix having a slightly longer face it is so hard to tell them apart. Even after all this time I sometimes have to do a double take if I'm holding one of them. Sebastian has a very small red mark under his nose, but that will fade in time so maybe not the best way to tell them apart!

They do odd twin things as well. Even if they are in two separate rooms, if one cries the other will at the same time. If they're being fed separately, when one is being fed the other will make sucking noises, even if he can't see that his brother is being fed. One day I needed to wake Felix up more to feed so I gently squeezed his foot and Sebastian who was being held by Chris flinched and moved the same foot. They are so in tune with each other but I don't know if this is just from spending 8 months together in the womb or if it's something deeper than that. If they continue to look the same then we will have their DNA tested at 6 months to determine whether they are indeed identical.

Ok, so that will do for an update for now and I will continue to find 5 minutes from somewhere to keep updating the progress and the journey of the boys and Bella as they grow up together.

Our Birth Story

So the day after having a scan and receiving my C-section date from the hospital for the 9/2/11, my waters broke lying on the sofa at home after a few contractions and feeling a bit "off" during the afternoon. Luckily my dad was here to stay with Bella while we went to hospital, with me having a bit of a panic and feeling completely unprepared to have twins, especially only being 35+5 weeks gestation!

When I got to the hospital around 9pm I wasn't really having contractions and an internal exam confirmed that my cervix was high and closed. As I'd just eaten dinner I was told that they didn't want to do a C-section for 6 hours until my stomach was clear so they'd put me on monitors for a couple of hours and then move me to a room overnight with a section booked for 8am the following morning. I was put on the monitors but pretty soon the contractions started to pick up and became more frequent and more uncomfortable. I was moved to a delivery suite at midnight and examined where it was found my cervix was favourable and starting to dilate. The contractions went to every 5-6 mins lasting roughly 20 seconds so they decided they were going to deliver at 1am as a planned section as they weren't sure whether I'd hold out until the morning and didn't want to do a middle of the night emergency section.

They then discovered I'd tested positive for Group B Strep from a swab they took on entry to the hospital so they changed their minds again and said I'd wait until 4am while they got 4 hours of antibiotics into me as the worry was that as Felix had broken his waters he was at risk. So, I laid back on the bed and by 1am was getting regular contractions which were starting to get really painful. By 2am they were coming constantly so I asked if they could put the epidural in ready for the section as I was at the point of so much pain and felt like I might need to push. The gynae checked my cervix and said we had to go to theatre as the babies were well on the way and she could feel Felix's bottom coming. I was whisked into theatre where they administered a spinal block and the babies were born at 2.40am and 2.42am, weighing 5lb 4oz and 6lb 2oz. The section is the strangest thing I've ever experienced!

Both boys came out crying and they took them to a side room for checks. I was handed each one in a towel for a quick cuddle before they took them to show Chris and then round to SCBU as Sebastian had breathing problems. They think it's because they had to break his waters and he may of inhaled some of the amniotic fluid. I went down to recovery until 5.30am with my body going in to complete shock and Chris went to SCBU with the boys.

When I was brought back to the room I was told Sebastian was on oxygen and they'd leave the boys together for now to keep an eye on Felix too for signs of GBS. It was a long morning of lots of pain and anxiousness for me as I still hadn't seen them since theatre. I was told at lunch they'd taken Sebastian off the oxygen and I'd see them about 1pm but I wasn't able to get out of bed to go to SCBU as I was in too much pain and feeling very sick from the medication. We were then told they'd bring the babies to me at 3pm but they didn't make it to the room until 6pm. 16 hours without seeing my babies seemed like an eternity but Chris took lots of photos of them and some video to show me. The wait was well worth it when they finally came to the room and I saw how totally perfect they were.

We were only in the hospital for 3 nights before they decided to release us. This was a total surprise as I thought with them being born at 35+5 gestation we'd have been in for quite a but longer, but the boys proved to be little fighters so our release forms were signed and we were on our way home :)

Introducing...

Felix Edward and Sebastian John

Born at 2.40am and 2.42am, weighing 5lb 4oz (2.4kg) and 6lb 20z (2.8kg) respectively. The cutest two boys I've ever seen :)

The Only Way Is Out...!

I thought it was about time for a long overdue update. Everything had been going great with the pregnancy up until the 32 week mark. I went for a routine scan and the babies were measuring very large for dates. Twin 1 was estimating the size of a 34 weeker and Twin 2 around 35 weeks. The question of gestational diabetes and high blood sugars was raised again so I was booked in 2 days later for the long curve glucose tolerance test. After a few days wait for results I was called back to the hospital where they said one of my results was a little high. While it wasn't indicative of GD they decided I needed a closer eye kept on my blood sugars and was sent away with a blood sugar monitor to test before and after each meal.

I thought that was enough to cope with until I started itching like crazy! At the back of my mind was obstetric cholestasis an uncommon condition in pregnancy affecting the liver. I went to see my private doctor for tests and sure enough they came back confirming OC. This is not a condition to be taken lightly as it has risk factors to both mother and baby:

http://www.patient.co.uk/health/Obstetric-Cholestasis.htm

My doctor wrote a recommendation to the consultant at the hospital for close monitoring and an earlier delivery, preferably before 37 weeks, and I was put onto medication.

So, just as I was getting over the shock of that one, I went to a routine midwife appointment where my blood pressure was measuring 150/100 and was sent in to the hospital for monitoring. I spent 3 hours strapped up with a trace put on both babies and had blood and urine samples analysed, looking for the onset of pre-eclampsia. After the blood results came back favourable and my blood pressure was showing to be within limits I was allowed to go home on rest and given a large container to do a 24 hour urine sample in. Not the easiest thing to do when you are very heavily pregnant with twins! My bump is currently measuring 46 weeks pregnant so even finding the toilet is getting harder without having to collect wee into a container as well!

I went back in to the hospital this morning at 35+3 for a scan and some more monitoring and to have further analysis done on the wee sample. Both babies were fine on the scan with steady growth. Twin 1 is estimating 5lb 11oz and Twin 2 6lb 6oz. They were both very active. Unfortunately Twin 1 has now turned from transverse to bottom first so there is no way to consider a natural delivery anymore. After I had monitoring for half an hour to check the babies weren't stressed and my blood pressure was right back down to 130/70, the consultant came back with my consent forms for a C-section and a choice of dates for us. I'm gutted that I won't be able to deliver these two naturally, but I believe everything happens for a reason and perhaps it is because a CS is the safest method for them.

So, the date we'll be meeting our babies is Wednesday, 9th February 2011!!!

Happy New Year!

Just a quick post to wish everyone a very happy new year. I'm so super excited that my babies will be arriving this year, in fact by the end of next month at the latest!

I had a scan on Wednesday and the babies are doing so well. Twin 1 is estimating 3lb 8oz and Twin 2 at 3lb 10oz. My obs/gynae thinks that I'll make it around the 36-37 week mark as the babies are quite large and both measuring on par with a singleton pregnancy so he doesn't think my uterus will be able to cope with getting much further. As I type I'm 31+1 so they could be here in 5 weeks....eeeeeeeek!

I'm at a huge, uncomfortable stage now as I carry around the combined weight of an average newborn, plus two amniotic sacs and two placentas. No wonder I'm tired, ache and slightly hormonal... I'm back at the hospital on 10th January for a further scan to determine the positions of both babies and to discuss delivery decisions.

Happy 2011 everyone and what a life changing year we're about to have!

It's the final countdown!

30 weeks today and we're officially on the final countdown until these two little babies decide to turn up and share our lives. I don't know where the time has gone but I have a feeling the last stretch will probably drag as I'm struggling in the evenings now and generally very uncomfortable. I had an appointment with my midwife at just gone 28 weeks and my bump is already measuring "full term" of a single pregnancy. No wonder I'm aching everywhere and only set to get bigger! The twins are so active and I've had the amazing experience of watching bony little hands protrude through my tummy and trace backwards and forwards under my skin.

I've also had some frustrating moments with the Spanish healthcare system over the last week. First off I had yet another different midwife who again never bothered checking my notes. She almost fell off her chair when she measured the size of my bump and I thought she was about to send me straight off to the hospital, until I pointed out it's a twin pregnancy. Why don't they check these things? She then tried to locate the heartbeats and couldn't find one, even though there are two in there! It was obvious they were fine as my tummy was kicking out while she tried to find them, but still she insisted on trying. Not happy she then got the scanner out and reassured herself they were ok... After the appointment I went to book myself in for another set of appointments for 3rd trimester bloods, blood pressure control as I'm at risk of high blood pressure due to my pregnancy with Bella and finally an Anti-D vaccine which I was assured would be ordered in for me.

The Anti-D vaccine is because my blood type is Rhesus negative. It's important to have it administered around the 28 week mark. My appointment was arranged for yesterday so a little late but at least I was getting it. After having my blood pressure control I waited half an hour with Bella in tow for the vaccine only to be told they'd given it to somebody else! This was after they thought I was there for a tetanus shot... I can't believe the health centre doesn't hold at least one spare vaccine in stock. I asked what would happen next and they said they'd have to order another one which would take approximately 2 weeks due to the holidays. I feel it's absolutely ridiculous to make a person with a high risk pregnancy (who is at risk of bleeds and early delivery) wait until 32 weeks for a vaccine which should have been given at 28! I ended up arranging to have it done privately which I'm not happy about but I don't want to put my babies at risk. I feel a complaint coming up.

Anyway, it's Christmas Eve and after a few worrying moments earlier with the onset of some contractions, everything is calm and tranquil now and I'm looking forward to sharing tomorrow with my gorgeous family. The last one as a family of 3! Bella will be so spoiled tomorrow and I'm getting so excited, and maybe a touch nervous too ;)

Wishing a Merry Christmas to all my blog readers and I will be back posting on Thursday with an update from a 3D scan, hopefully with some lovely photos.

3rd Trimester I welcome you!

Here I am today at 28 weeks and have just been to the hospital for a scan. I have to confess I was very nervous about the one today as I've had pain and bruising on one side of my bump and was worried something was wrong. Apparently it's nothing to do with the babies or placentas coming away so must be down to the relentless cough that I have, pulling all my muscles.

We had a lovely sonographer who was very kind and patient, the first I've come across on the social system! Both babies are doing very well and are now measuring identically at 27 weeks and 5 days. Twin 1 is 2lb 4oz and Twin 2 is 2lb 5oz. That's a whole lot of baby weight to be carrying around already! The downside of todays scan is that both twins have turned breech and are happily sitting there with their heads together wedged under my ribs. I just hope I can get these little ones to turn back again by the next scan at the hospital in a months time. I have a private 3d scan booked for 30 weeks to have a last decent glimpse of them, so maybe I'll have some good news then. In the meantime it's back to the spinning baby techniques of inversion, muscle relaxation, crawling around on all fours (which I do spend a lot of time doing with my daughter anyway!) and maybe the odd bag of peas on the top of my tummy as you never know!

All in all, a big relief for me today and I'm just so thrilled that both babies are so content. Chances of survival outside of the womb rocket up to 90% at 28 weeks. I found out the hospitals procedure on when to deliver today and if Twin 1 is head down and both babies are growing well then they will leave me until I go into labour naturally... any guesses on when that will be?!

Now I'm off to fill party bags, ice Bellas birthday cake and make her Daddies ready for their party tomorrow!

Happy 2nd Birthday Princess Bella!!!

It's amazing where the time has gone but the love of my life turned 2 today. It's hard to believe I was laying in the hospital 2 years ago suffering through a 36 hour labour desperate to meet my little bundle of pink delight!

The birthday girl had a leisurely lie in and then came downstairs to lots of "Wow's" as she discovered her new toys. We decided to go with a kitchen/food theme this year and bought a gorgeous little kitchen for her complete with fridge, microwave, oven, hob and sink. Apparently she was too busy for breakfast. "No mummy, I playing kitchens". She really got the hang of unwrapping presents this year, ripping off the paper with a "What's inside?". Of course she had a little practice the day before by helping to open her Daddys 30th birthday presents. We had to take a break a couple of hours later to get her to sit still and eat and drink!

The afternoon was spent as the toddler Christmas party at our local soft play where we discovered that Bella does not like Santa Claus one little bit. As soon as the big guy turned up ringing his bell she went in to hysterics, crying and screaming. We have been unable to mention him since or even show her a picture of him as she "No want Santa!!!" I wonder if that means I need to return all her presents to the store?

We're having a joint party on Saturday for her and her daddy so I will put together a photo slide show of the Bella turning 2 in a couple of days time.

Happy Birthday Princess!!!!

It's V Day!!!

Today I reached 24 weeks which if you've ever been pregnant you know it's one of the huge milestones where the babies become "viable". Not the nicest word to use, but basically means that if the babies came now they would have a chance of survival outside of the womb and more importantly this is where the medical profession actually care and do their best to save them, but lets hope these two keep cooking for a good while yet!

So, since my last post I'm transitioning from private health care with my all singing and dancing 3D scans to the free health care provided by the social security system. Private twin scans are expensive which was part of my reason for changing but I also feel I want to be registered and known by my local hospital now, rather than just turning up to deliver the babies on the day. It's a bit of a minefield here with lots of queueing up and form filling. I haven't seen the same person twice yet and it appears as though nobody really knows what the other is doing! In the last week I've had 2 different midwife appointments and the 24 week scan. Normally I love a chance to look at my babies but this was such a disappointing scan! I wasn't allowed to look at the screen while I was being scanned and when I tried to peek round at it, I got a telling off. I did get to look at both babies at the end of the scan for about 1 minute per baby, but the images were so rubbish I was hard pushed to know what I was looking at!

The good news is both babies are perfect. They are growing well with one measuring 2 days ahead of the EDD and the other 3 days behind. There is a difference in weight between them of 110g with Twin 2 being the bigger one. I'm relieved that one of the placentas which was covering the cervix at the 20 week scan has now moved up and twin 2 has turned from breech to head down the same as Twin 1 so at the moment I'm on schedule for a natural delivery :) The scan was such a relief after I had a horrendous stomach bug last week where I couldn't keep anything down, even water, so it was reassuring to know that neither baby has suffered because of it.

In the coming weeks I have 2nd trimester bloods to be taken, glucose tolerance test, anti D jab and the 28 week scan so busy busy! Time is flying by maybe a bit too fast... My bump is huge now so I must get round to uploading a couple of recent photos.

"Whoa, we're half way there...Whoa"

Yes, we are officially half way to 40 weeks today, although over half way until the babies are classed as term at 36 weeks. I'm now starting to feel regular kicks, some high and some low and Chris has even felt a few of them too. Whenever I pick Bella up one of them always starts kicking me. I don't know if it's under protest of their big sister squashing them or enthusiasm about wanting to say "hi!" Health wise I'm feeling great and have finally entered the "blooming phase".

Yesterday we went for the 20 week scan..the big one! This is the scan I have excitement and nerves over as they check every piece of anatomy and internal organ thoroughly to pick up any potential problems. It was a mammoth scan lasting around an hour and a half. The twins were assessed in turn and I'm delighted to say they are both absolutely perfect! Such a relief. They are growing well and Twin 1 is weighing in at 277g while Twin 2 is 295g. We had genders confirmed finally although I'm still not revealing until the big day! Twin 1 (the one who will be born first) is already in a head down position and Twin 2 is currently breech although it has plenty of time to turn. Apparently around 30 weeks I should have a clearer idea how they'll make their big entry to the world. We're just hoping for one placenta to move up out of the way of the exit! I also need to find out my hospitals policy on delivery dates and how long they'll let me go to.

The scans are nowhere near as clear as Bellas at the same stage as it really is just a jumble of limbs in my tummy at this point. I'm so happy I got the lovely pictures of them laying side by side at 12 weeks as they'll no longer fit on a screen together. We did come away with some cute shots of both their faces though:

Twin 1 - first born

Twin 2

I'm starting to feel as though this pregnancy is rushing by and they'll be here before we know it. Bella is slowly warming to the idea of the babies I think. Yesterday morning she came and laid her dolls rattle and a dummy on my tummy and said "for the babies" which was very cute but I think she's probably happier that they're in my tummy than in her home!

I feel at this point I also want to dedicate more of the blog to Bella and her progress as she is growing up so fast and I want to record every moment. She is so bright and smart and her vocabulary and sentence structure is coming on in leaps and bounds. She has started to put whole sentences together and yesterday used two sentences in a row. She came downstairs in the morning and said, "Good morning Jingle Jangles. Lets go play ball!" It sounds so funny hearing her speak like that. She also has a very posh accent and very english sounding. She gives us a running commentary on everything throughout the day. We make our way up the stairs and she's either counting or telling me what she sees. She still has a lot of confusion over up and down, and her colours can be a little mixed up but she can now count from 1 to 16 (that's the amount of stairs we have between each level) and can say the alphabet from A-Z. She sings most of Baa Baa Black Sheep and Twinkle Star. She is so affectionate and gives lots of "huggles" as she calls them with kisses while saying "I like mummy/daddy/Lola etc" She constantly amazes me and I couldn't be more proud of her.

I have a heap of photos to upload of her so will work on a slideshow of the last few months to show her recent changes.

16 weeks and going strong!

Today I'm 16+5 (where has the time gone?) and all is progressing well. We went for the routine 16 week scan on Monday to check the growth and state of play. Both twins are still absolutely perfect and growing well. The brain and heart are developing properly, the kidneys were visible, the spinal column showed no problems and all is looking good with the placentas. It is getting difficult to get clear images now as they are right on top of each other and I assume they will get more and more jumbled in there. It is still very overwhelming to see two babies swimming around. I am so in awe of them and what we have managed to create, but equally a bit scared about the enormity of it all!

I think the term often used is "twin shock". For some it goes away quickly and you adjust to the idea which I did initially, but the further into the pregnancy I get, I sometimes find myself thinking... oh.my.god! I worry about my bond with my existing little princess and how the arrival of the babies is going to radically change our family dynamics. Bella was my longed for and much awaited and anticipated first baby and our bond is very deep and strong. It is no secret how completely head over heels I am with her. At the moment it feels hard to imagine loving not just one but two more babies as much as I do her. I have spoken to some fantastic mummy friends (thank you girls!) who have 2 or more kids and have been assured that you just find even more room in your heart to love the extra ones without taking away from the others. A difficult thing to imagine right now, but my heart which currently belongs to Bella will be split 3 ways. How vulnerable am I going to be?!

I've had quite the emotional time in the last week with certain things troubling me, like the bonding with the new babies and the delivery. Scared just about sums it up! I've found out that I have to deliver in an operating theatre with a team on standby for any eventuality, which if that isn't enough to have a room full of strangers and highlight all the things that may go wrong, I have to do it alone. In Spain they have a policy of not allowing partners into the theatres for the delivery. I know it will only be a brief (hopefully) moment in time and we have the rest of our lives together as a family unit, but still I would have preferred Chris to be there. He does get to stay with me through the labour and I guess the last stages are a bit of a blur before the actual delivery but already it is playing on my mind. I think a new dose of double hormones must have kicked in this week as I find my eyes getting very weepy quite easily! Shares in kleenex anyone????!

Tell me, what's your flavour?

Last Thursday we went for an anomaly scan of the babies to see if there is any indication of potential genetic problems. Because we have non-id twins we were advised against the screening blood tests as they can throw out quite obscure results and also we would be unsure as to which baby had a problem, so we opted for the detailed scan instead. Both babies were thoroughly checked over, spending half an hour on each one where they were measured in length, head size, nasal bone, long bones, nuchal fold, heartbeats and valves checked, umbilical cord, abdomen, placentas, you name it, they were checked. I'm happy to say both babies passed with flying colours and it appears we have two very healthy little ones. They have both grown loads and my due date has been fast forwarded 4 days. I'm currently 13+2 as I write this.

My gynecologist loves to pride himself on early detection of gender so didn't hesitate in asking if we wanted to know. If it had been a single pregnancy I would have opted for the element of surprise this time round but being a twin pregnancy we decided that was surprise enough for us and that we need to know. After getting the all important shots between the babies legs in 2d and 3d we have been given a very clear insight into who we have entering our lives...and no, I'm not going to tell you! I feel nowadays in pregnancy we know so much about our little ones before they are even with us, so I would love for everybody else to have the surprise, even though we won't. Initially I thought I would divulge the genders but I have since decided that it would be far more lovely to announce upon their arrivals. Of course the speculation has started with the favourite being a "purple" bump of one boy and one girl, but is it? Or do we have a pink or blue bump?! Only another 6ish months to wait and find out ;)

In the meantime here are a couple of pictures. It was so lovely to watch them as they tended to mirror each other on movement and the way they laid:

Two little hearts beating away!

We're just back from what I can only describe as an awesome scan :) Forever the worrier, I was fearing the worst as scans fill me with dread since the last pregnancy. I refused the internal scan today, I know it gives clearer images but just didn't want it, so we had the external one done. Straight away we could see both babies and their little hearts pounding away, and a noticeable difference in size since the last scan. The heart rate of one of them is measuring 180bpm and the other 167-170bpm. They both looked more baby like as opposed to a little bean and you could see the limb buds and a more distinct head. One of them was doing some crazy flips and then the other one started up. They're still measuring one day apart.

The doctor was happy that both placentas were embedding well with good blood flow already and couldn't find any indication of the area of bleed at all, so a big relief. It was a very thorough scan, made all the more entertaining by Bella pressing buttons and raising and lowering my bed, then coming round to tickle my toes! She was a little star and very well behaved. A fab big sister in the making...!

I do still find it a bit surreal and had to ask Chris to pinch me in the car on the way home so I know I'm not dreaming! Next milestone is getting to the 12 week scan. It will be nearer to 13 weeks as we're just having a detailed anomaly scan done this time round as any blood work for genetic problems is likely to throw up odd results in a non-id twin pregnancy. So, we need to wait that little bit longer so they're both bigger and can have the nuchal fold, heart valves, brain and soft markers looked at. Now, I'm off to try and upload some photos from the DVD of the scan...still grinning :p

Argh...scared!

Scan in the morning and I'm understandably nervous this time round. Please, please, please be well both little beanies. If you're reading, I would greatly appreciate some positive thoughts! Will update tomorrow.

When 3 become 5!

So I haven't made the "big announcement" on Facebook yet, but enough of our close family and friends know our situation for me to feel comfortable blogging again. I found out I was pregnant again in June and was of course excited and over the moon. Naturally very very worried though following the missed miscarriage back in April. If you remember the miscarriage was discovered at the 12 week scan where the baby had stopped growing at 8 weeks. Well, on Sunday I was 7+5 and had a tiny amount of brown spotting. This understandably sent me into a whirl of panic and despair. Sunday night I'd resigned myself to history repeating itself and felt very numb. We booked a private scan for lunchtime on the Monday as I couldn't put myself through a wait of not knowing.

Nervously I went to the scan, gave my history and got ready for the moment of truth. The first thing checked was my cervix and the doctor was happy that it was just brown spotting and nothing more. I braced myself for the scan. Straight away I thought the screen looked a little different to my early scan with Bella but I wasn't sure what it meant. The doctor smiled and said "You've got twins!" Oh. My. God! Those were my words. How do you take something like that in from having given up hope the night before to being told you have 2 babies! My first question was...are they both alive? Instantly I felt a bond and rapport and wanted to know both my babies were well. The doctor pointed at the screen and said "Look!" It was obvious the heart on the first twin was pumping away. We had a listen and then moved on to the 2nd twin where we also saw and heard the heartbeat. She went on to measure the length of them and they were measuring spot on for my dates. I was 7+6 on the day of the scan. One measured 7+6, the other 8 weeks. Perfect!

Now, there is a small area of bleed inside, she said it was tiny, 6-7mm, so thought the risk of miscarriage was very slight, although obviously still there with any bleed. I have been assigned rest for a week and a rescan next Tuesday in the hope the bleed will have dispersed. I'm happy to say that I have had no more spotting since that Sunday. My progesterone support has been doubled to give them the best chance.

Today as I write I am 8+3. Sickness is pretty horrendous. What was just evening sickness has started to move to all day and I'm struggling to eat, but I embrace it! It's all for the greater good! So, we now are in a position where we are delighted, excited, apprehensive, nervous and praying all stays well with both our little beans. Please, if you are reading this and believe in the power of positive thinking or prayer, spare some thoughts for our little ones and wish them well :) I have decided to start blogging and post about our news ahead of the 12 week scan as we waited the last time and still had a problem, and it's just not nice to go through that on your own. I know a twin pregnancy is going to be higher risk throughout so wasn't sure if there was ever a good time to come clean! I hope you enjoy following our very special journey.

Below are a few photos from the scan. I grin every time I see them! They are non identical in 2 different sacs with 2 different placentas forming.

This is measuring the heart rate of one twin

Measuring the heart rate of the 2nd

One twin measuring 8 weeks and the other 7+6

It's all beachy!

We've managed to have a fantastic relaxing family weekend. The sun is shining and life feels good. We had an impromptu visit to the beach today after finding out Ikea was shut, so stopped off to watch the kite surfers and have a little play in the sand. This is the first time we've been to the beach this year, so the first time Bella has walked on the sand. She was apprehensive at first so got Daddy to carry her around for a while, until her curiosity took over and she started to have a little dig about in the sand and pour it over her legs. The sun will still be shining tomorrow so we'll slap on the sunblock and head off to our local beach for some sand castle building fun. I'll add some pictures of our effort tomorrow. In the meantime, here are a couple of new favourite photos...

Finally...

...I have the all clear from the hospital and have been discharged so I can put this awful 2 weeks behind me. I still have down times where I find myself crying out of the blue, but the good times far outweigh the bad now so it's true what they say about time being a great healer. We've decided we will try again for another baby, so watch this space! Just hoping it's not another 2 years like with Bella...

Not out of the woods yet...

I went for a scan today to hopefully get the all clear but found out I still have retained tissue. Yet more medication and another scan on Monday morning to see if a medical procedure is necessary. It really does feel never ending right now.

Bella was an absolute angel all day, and considering she has the stinkiest cold ever it was great. She was her usual charming and entertaining self. Not sleeping much right now but that's more because she can't breathe properly, especially while wanting to suck on her dummy. After a few nights of disturbed sleep for the both of us while Daddy was working, I'm having a night off tonight as I'm physically drained. On the plus front, I was tickling Bella under her arms and she was laughing her head off, and I spied some canines poking through. Hoorah, at last!!!!