Monday, April 26, 2010

Finally...

...I have the all clear from the hospital and have been discharged so I can put this awful 2 weeks behind me. I still have down times where I find myself crying out of the blue, but the good times far outweigh the bad now so it's true what they say about time being a great healer. We've decided we will try again for another baby, so watch this space! Just hoping it's not another 2 years like with Bella...

Thursday, April 22, 2010

Not out of the woods yet...

I went for a scan today to hopefully get the all clear but found out I still have retained tissue. Yet more medication and another scan on Monday morning to see if a medical procedure is necessary. It really does feel never ending right now.

Bella was an absolute angel all day, and considering she has the stinkiest cold ever it was great. She was her usual charming and entertaining self. Not sleeping much right now but that's more because she can't breathe properly, especially while wanting to suck on her dummy. After a few nights of disturbed sleep for the both of us while Daddy was working, I'm having a night off tonight as I'm physically drained. On the plus front, I was tickling Bella under her arms and she was laughing her head off, and I spied some canines poking through. Hoorah, at last!!!!

Sunday, April 18, 2010

A bleak weak

I've toyed with the idea of posting this, is it too much information or something I should keep to myself? After several days of pondering I've decided to post to be true to the original nature of this blog...sharing a journey through pregnancy and the highs and lows. I know it's progressed in to a blog about Bella but I want to extend it beyond her too. We always knew we'd like a sibling for her and had been trying since July 09.

In February I got a surprise positive pregnancy test and was over the moon. We went back to see our gynae twice to check all was well with the baby and at 6 weeks we saw and heard the heartbeat, a big relief. I suffered many weeks of sickness and tiredness while trying to look after a very active toddler. Before we knew it the 12 week scan was here (Tuesday 13th April) and I was so excited. I was even planning what to write for my "Big Announcement". We went in to see the sonographer saying we didn't want to know the sex etc, only to be told we wouldn't be knowing anything as the baby had stopped growing at 8 weeks. One of the most devastating things to hear. My hopes and dreams for the new baby in tatters. It was a missed miscarriage. I had medical management to help pass everything out which happened yesterday.

It's a totally strange place to be in and completely alien to me. Whilst dealing with the physical pain which is bad enough, the emotional side is totally exhausting. I've been through a whirlwind of emotions and my head has hurt from crying so much. It is totally like grieving the loss of a loved one. Today was a very low day for me, as I think it was all so final, but I have also learned to appreciate my present and what I do have, my already amazing family. I've been truly blessed with Bella considering the time and trauma we went through to get her and for that I am eternally grateful. I still do want to give her a sibling and experience the joy of pregnancy again so although I have been knocked for six this time, we will try again when ready.

For now, blogging will resume dedicated to my truly amazing daughter :)

Thursday, April 8, 2010

Big girl you are beautiful

She is growing up too fast! We had an emergency trip to the vet yesterday with our female turquoisine parrot, Mrs Tweet Tweet. Bella sat in the vets telling the vet all about what the animals say. We so far have a roar of a lion and hippo, woof woof, meow, quack quack, baaaaaa, moo, neigh, bzzzzzzz for the bee, snort for the pig and a clap clap for the chicken...clap clap as in cluck cluck! The vet was very impressed by her repertoire and just loved Bella. She's an exotic pet vet so got a tortoise out for Bella to "explore" then took her out the back to the nursing area to see an enormous iguana, a ferret, some more birds and a few other critters. Bella was so excited by her visit she meowed all the way home in the car.

This afternoon we popped to the local shopping mall and while Daddy (yes Daddy!) was looking in the shops, I was chasing our little lady up and down the length of the place. She sat in every toy car she could find, waved to all the other children she passed on the way, befriended numerous sales staff as she bobbed in and out of the shops. She managed to collect a balloon, a pencil and an inflatable coca cola thing willingly given to her by adoring staff. We stopped off for a quick bite to eat before leaving and Bella decided she wanted to drink from a cup and not of the sippy cup variety. She was doing such a good job that I had to comment what a big girl she is now, only for her to upturn the entire contents all over my legs. Famous last words huh?!

Ooh, Mrs Tweet Tweet is due to hatch her eggs any day now, maybe tomorrow. She's sitting on 3 of them so I will update if we have any teeny tiny chicklets tomorrow!

Sunday, April 4, 2010

Whatever floats your boat!

We had a gorgeous sunny day out yesterday. It started via the shopping mall to get some bits in the pet shop and a look at the fishes and birds and then to grab some bread as were off to feed the ducks. While in the mall we decided to buy a potty with a view to getting Bella acquainted with it over the summer when she has nappy off time outside. So far it seems to be something to pick up and put on her head, stand in or use as a skateboard!

We left the mall, fed the ducks and drove down to Puerto Banus for a stroll around the port and a look at the amazing yachts there. Bella decided it was nap time to we put her in the Bug with the sunblock cover over and set off. It seems the Bugaboo is the stroller of choice amongst the Marbella/Banus crowd. Just as common as seeing Ferraris, Lamborghinis and Rolls Royce! We stopped by our favourite Start Rite shoe shop to pick up something summery only to find it was closed for renovations. So a quick dash into Zara baby found us a gorgeous little pair of canvas shoes. After an afternoon of walking, playing and eating grapes and strawberries in the fresh air, we all slept well last night.

New shoes!



Thursday, April 1, 2010

Midday at the Oasis

I took Bella round to a local holiday resort this morning knowing it was a short walk and not a drive and that it's Easter holiday so thought there would be little kids a plenty for her to play with, and we weren't disappointed! We started out by testing the new wheels...a Bugaboo Chameleon. Why oh why did I not buy one of these from the start? Probably because of the extortionate price tag, but quality does pay. We bought our one 2nd hand for half the price and we both love it! A dream to steer and Bella bounced her way effortlessly over gravel and stones with a "wheeeeeeee". Now we just need to change from the orange fabric to a luscious rich red.

For Petra, so you can see why we're changing colour!

Upon arrival at the kids park Bella ran across the grass towards a tiny little boy. Turns out he's actually 8 months older than her, but was overshadowed by the tall lovely Bella with her head of wild curls. She got to practise her finest spanish with him and his mummy. Bella doesn't say any words in spanish yet, but does seem to enjoy the language and listens intently. She enjoyed a good hour in the sunshine running around with him and swapping balls, shuttlecocks and breadsticks while the mummies laid on the grass in the sun for a natter. She has made a date with him for same time tomorrow. Will it be a crush on the little Filipe? No! Once he'd gone she quickly moved on to another little boy, Hugo, who was just a bit too small for Bella really. He seemed to gaze up at her in awe, especially as she clung on tight to the see-saw and bounced herself up and down for a good while.

After a couple of gorgeous hours in the sunshine (which has been sadly lacking lately) she climbed back in to the Bug for a ride home, exhausted. Same again tomorrow then!