16 weeks and going strong!

Today I'm 16+5 (where has the time gone?) and all is progressing well. We went for the routine 16 week scan on Monday to check the growth and state of play. Both twins are still absolutely perfect and growing well. The brain and heart are developing properly, the kidneys were visible, the spinal column showed no problems and all is looking good with the placentas. It is getting difficult to get clear images now as they are right on top of each other and I assume they will get more and more jumbled in there. It is still very overwhelming to see two babies swimming around. I am so in awe of them and what we have managed to create, but equally a bit scared about the enormity of it all!

I think the term often used is "twin shock". For some it goes away quickly and you adjust to the idea which I did initially, but the further into the pregnancy I get, I sometimes find myself thinking... oh.my.god! I worry about my bond with my existing little princess and how the arrival of the babies is going to radically change our family dynamics. Bella was my longed for and much awaited and anticipated first baby and our bond is very deep and strong. It is no secret how completely head over heels I am with her. At the moment it feels hard to imagine loving not just one but two more babies as much as I do her. I have spoken to some fantastic mummy friends (thank you girls!) who have 2 or more kids and have been assured that you just find even more room in your heart to love the extra ones without taking away from the others. A difficult thing to imagine right now, but my heart which currently belongs to Bella will be split 3 ways. How vulnerable am I going to be?!

I've had quite the emotional time in the last week with certain things troubling me, like the bonding with the new babies and the delivery. Scared just about sums it up! I've found out that I have to deliver in an operating theatre with a team on standby for any eventuality, which if that isn't enough to have a room full of strangers and highlight all the things that may go wrong, I have to do it alone. In Spain they have a policy of not allowing partners into the theatres for the delivery. I know it will only be a brief (hopefully) moment in time and we have the rest of our lives together as a family unit, but still I would have preferred Chris to be there. He does get to stay with me through the labour and I guess the last stages are a bit of a blur before the actual delivery but already it is playing on my mind. I think a new dose of double hormones must have kicked in this week as I find my eyes getting very weepy quite easily! Shares in kleenex anyone????!

Tell me, what's your flavour?

Last Thursday we went for an anomaly scan of the babies to see if there is any indication of potential genetic problems. Because we have non-id twins we were advised against the screening blood tests as they can throw out quite obscure results and also we would be unsure as to which baby had a problem, so we opted for the detailed scan instead. Both babies were thoroughly checked over, spending half an hour on each one where they were measured in length, head size, nasal bone, long bones, nuchal fold, heartbeats and valves checked, umbilical cord, abdomen, placentas, you name it, they were checked. I'm happy to say both babies passed with flying colours and it appears we have two very healthy little ones. They have both grown loads and my due date has been fast forwarded 4 days. I'm currently 13+2 as I write this.

My gynecologist loves to pride himself on early detection of gender so didn't hesitate in asking if we wanted to know. If it had been a single pregnancy I would have opted for the element of surprise this time round but being a twin pregnancy we decided that was surprise enough for us and that we need to know. After getting the all important shots between the babies legs in 2d and 3d we have been given a very clear insight into who we have entering our lives...and no, I'm not going to tell you! I feel nowadays in pregnancy we know so much about our little ones before they are even with us, so I would love for everybody else to have the surprise, even though we won't. Initially I thought I would divulge the genders but I have since decided that it would be far more lovely to announce upon their arrivals. Of course the speculation has started with the favourite being a "purple" bump of one boy and one girl, but is it? Or do we have a pink or blue bump?! Only another 6ish months to wait and find out ;)

In the meantime here are a couple of pictures. It was so lovely to watch them as they tended to mirror each other on movement and the way they laid:

Two little hearts beating away!

We're just back from what I can only describe as an awesome scan :) Forever the worrier, I was fearing the worst as scans fill me with dread since the last pregnancy. I refused the internal scan today, I know it gives clearer images but just didn't want it, so we had the external one done. Straight away we could see both babies and their little hearts pounding away, and a noticeable difference in size since the last scan. The heart rate of one of them is measuring 180bpm and the other 167-170bpm. They both looked more baby like as opposed to a little bean and you could see the limb buds and a more distinct head. One of them was doing some crazy flips and then the other one started up. They're still measuring one day apart.

The doctor was happy that both placentas were embedding well with good blood flow already and couldn't find any indication of the area of bleed at all, so a big relief. It was a very thorough scan, made all the more entertaining by Bella pressing buttons and raising and lowering my bed, then coming round to tickle my toes! She was a little star and very well behaved. A fab big sister in the making...!

I do still find it a bit surreal and had to ask Chris to pinch me in the car on the way home so I know I'm not dreaming! Next milestone is getting to the 12 week scan. It will be nearer to 13 weeks as we're just having a detailed anomaly scan done this time round as any blood work for genetic problems is likely to throw up odd results in a non-id twin pregnancy. So, we need to wait that little bit longer so they're both bigger and can have the nuchal fold, heart valves, brain and soft markers looked at. Now, I'm off to try and upload some photos from the DVD of the scan...still grinning :p

Argh...scared!

Scan in the morning and I'm understandably nervous this time round. Please, please, please be well both little beanies. If you're reading, I would greatly appreciate some positive thoughts! Will update tomorrow.

When 3 become 5!

So I haven't made the "big announcement" on Facebook yet, but enough of our close family and friends know our situation for me to feel comfortable blogging again. I found out I was pregnant again in June and was of course excited and over the moon. Naturally very very worried though following the missed miscarriage back in April. If you remember the miscarriage was discovered at the 12 week scan where the baby had stopped growing at 8 weeks. Well, on Sunday I was 7+5 and had a tiny amount of brown spotting. This understandably sent me into a whirl of panic and despair. Sunday night I'd resigned myself to history repeating itself and felt very numb. We booked a private scan for lunchtime on the Monday as I couldn't put myself through a wait of not knowing.

Nervously I went to the scan, gave my history and got ready for the moment of truth. The first thing checked was my cervix and the doctor was happy that it was just brown spotting and nothing more. I braced myself for the scan. Straight away I thought the screen looked a little different to my early scan with Bella but I wasn't sure what it meant. The doctor smiled and said "You've got twins!" Oh. My. God! Those were my words. How do you take something like that in from having given up hope the night before to being told you have 2 babies! My first question was...are they both alive? Instantly I felt a bond and rapport and wanted to know both my babies were well. The doctor pointed at the screen and said "Look!" It was obvious the heart on the first twin was pumping away. We had a listen and then moved on to the 2nd twin where we also saw and heard the heartbeat. She went on to measure the length of them and they were measuring spot on for my dates. I was 7+6 on the day of the scan. One measured 7+6, the other 8 weeks. Perfect!

Now, there is a small area of bleed inside, she said it was tiny, 6-7mm, so thought the risk of miscarriage was very slight, although obviously still there with any bleed. I have been assigned rest for a week and a rescan next Tuesday in the hope the bleed will have dispersed. I'm happy to say that I have had no more spotting since that Sunday. My progesterone support has been doubled to give them the best chance.

Today as I write I am 8+3. Sickness is pretty horrendous. What was just evening sickness has started to move to all day and I'm struggling to eat, but I embrace it! It's all for the greater good! So, we now are in a position where we are delighted, excited, apprehensive, nervous and praying all stays well with both our little beans. Please, if you are reading this and believe in the power of positive thinking or prayer, spare some thoughts for our little ones and wish them well :) I have decided to start blogging and post about our news ahead of the 12 week scan as we waited the last time and still had a problem, and it's just not nice to go through that on your own. I know a twin pregnancy is going to be higher risk throughout so wasn't sure if there was ever a good time to come clean! I hope you enjoy following our very special journey.

Below are a few photos from the scan. I grin every time I see them! They are non identical in 2 different sacs with 2 different placentas forming.

This is measuring the heart rate of one twin

Measuring the heart rate of the 2nd

One twin measuring 8 weeks and the other 7+6

It's all beachy!

We've managed to have a fantastic relaxing family weekend. The sun is shining and life feels good. We had an impromptu visit to the beach today after finding out Ikea was shut, so stopped off to watch the kite surfers and have a little play in the sand. This is the first time we've been to the beach this year, so the first time Bella has walked on the sand. She was apprehensive at first so got Daddy to carry her around for a while, until her curiosity took over and she started to have a little dig about in the sand and pour it over her legs. The sun will still be shining tomorrow so we'll slap on the sunblock and head off to our local beach for some sand castle building fun. I'll add some pictures of our effort tomorrow. In the meantime, here are a couple of new favourite photos...

Finally...

...I have the all clear from the hospital and have been discharged so I can put this awful 2 weeks behind me. I still have down times where I find myself crying out of the blue, but the good times far outweigh the bad now so it's true what they say about time being a great healer. We've decided we will try again for another baby, so watch this space! Just hoping it's not another 2 years like with Bella...